hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize