I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
