I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
