apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
