Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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