This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
