also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
