Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
