I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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