Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize