So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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