booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
