new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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