I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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