you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
nutella sex= disaster
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
