I think i peed on brittanys purse
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
