is your mom at the bar?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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