so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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