Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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