Moan for me like Helen Keller
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize