My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread