Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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