i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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