She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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