Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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