I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
