when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
