woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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