I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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