Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She bit a glass in half.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
