im drinking this country out of the recession.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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