he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
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I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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