it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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