It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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