Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
