i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize