i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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