I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
