he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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