Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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