Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
