Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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