He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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