its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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