So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
