marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
