2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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