Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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