You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
