Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
