it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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