Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize