There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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