i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Houston, we have a squirter
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
