Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
