I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
