Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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