My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
