at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize