I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
