He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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