Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
