never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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