Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
