Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
