so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
