well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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